Bulletin: Climate Scientists Declare Global Warming a Hoax

The RealClimate blog, which has been promoting global warming since 2004, finally admitted today that their so-called "theories" are a gigantic conspiracy:

. . . after listening to the compelling arguments of the distinguished speakers who participated in the Heartland Institute's recent global warming contrarian conference, we have decided that the science is settled — in favor of the contrarians.

Several commenters at the blog declared their relief that they can now relax and devote their full attention to disproving evolution, bioengineering magic Dyson trees, and overturning the tyranny of the law of gravity.